The Oscars

I get a little teary-eyed when I watch the Oscars because for so long that was my dream: to be in the movies, to make my living as an actor, to win an Academy Award. For so long I lived my life knowing it would happen for me, not preparing a backup plan or allowing doubt to creep into my mind. And here I sit in my living room in Austin, Texas watching the Oscars however many hundreds of miles away, knowing that chapter has closed, and admittedly there is still a part of me that wants it. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't imagined myself walking the red carpet, being interviewed on Oprah and accepting my first Academy Award. But alas, Oprah is no longer on the air, I no long live in Los Angeles and sometimes dreams evolve into other dreams.

Will I be a famous actress? No. But will I always yearn for something special to fulfill me both artistically and spiritually? Will I continue to look for a creative outlet that might also be a potentially lucrative career? Will I forever be grateful for my time I spent pursuing my dream because in essence that is the dream itself? Absofreakinlutely.

"Stay hungry, stay foolish." - Steve Jobs

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall

Many of you have asked to see pictures of our new home, so instead of giving a picture tour, I've decided to show off the house, one project at a time. The above picture is my pinspiration for our entry wall...

No offense to the lovely folks that owned our humble abode before us, but the above picture shows how the entry wall was staged before we took ownership.

The first thing we did was paint the living room and the entry wall is part of our living room. I knew I wanted to somehow incorporate a large, framed mirror on the wall so I taped out the approximate size I wanted on the wall with painters tape to help visualize.

We purchased a 3'X6' mirror from Texas Mirror and Doors and they delivered and installed the next day. To achieve the vertical mount, the installation specialist used an "L" bracket so that when we built the frame around the mirror we could place the frame directly next to the mirror.

We purchased four pieces of framing from Home Depot and borrowed my dear friend Kati's husband (and his power tools) for assistance in precision cutting. We used finishing nails and a nail punch to secure the frame around the mirror.

Brian always paints or installs the top half of whatever project we are attempting and I complete the bottom. Luckily, he's 6'3" and I don't mind sitting on the floor!

Above is what the mirror with its frame looked like before we caulked the corners. Since we cut the corners by hand, we needed to use calk to fill in the gaps.

Markley inspecting my work as I cleaned up some of the caulk.

Such a good little helper!

We taped the mirror and wall to paint the frame black. To be honest, I would have liked the frame to be wider, but we had to account for the outlet just outside the lower right corner of the frame. And the inspiration picture was for just that - inspiration.

Above is what the mirror looked like with our custom table in front of it. The base is an old sewing table that was in my Grandma's house and we had TM&D custom cut a piece of glass to be the table top.

The finished product - styled with two design books,

a bowl for keys and fresh flowers!

Now, scroll back up and look at my inspiration. Pretty close, right?!

Reflections & Resolutions

Forgive the cliche post title, but don't you find yourself sounding overly colloquial and nostalgic around the holidays? Saying things like "Thank you 2011, can't wait to see what 2012 will bring!" and "Top that, 2012!" and "Alas, another year has come and gone!" and "Auld lang syne!"

Obviously, I'm a fan of personifying just about anything, but the ever popular challenging of the year to come to beat the closing year might be my all time favorite. So what is it about this time of year that allows us to reflect and pledge changes for the year to come. Because, theoretically, it's just another day. We could always start a new lifestyle, a new outlook, a new project or dream at any time, any day. The New Year symbolizes this magical restart button that we all, literally, countdown to and with the stroke of midnight we all get a clean slate.

So what am I looking forward to the most in 2012? Well, I'm so glad you asked! I guess it wouldn't be fair to look forward without looking back so here goes, my 2011/2012 Reflections & Resolutions:

2011 Highlights

Became Aunt Kim & Uncle Brian

(Second) Honeymooned in Hawaii

Re-became Texans & moved to Austin

Adopted our sweet Markley girl

Celebrated Brian's 30th in Vegas

Celebrated 1 Year of Blogging

Celebrated 3 Years of Wedded Bliss

Bought our first house

Stood in 3 of my best friends' weddings

What I'm working on for 2012 is a little less bulleted of a list. I want to appreciate everything good so that more good can come and join in the fun. I want to breathe and relax and be present. I want to remember to choose the healthier option. I want to continue to try new restaurants and make new recipes. I want to invest in my friendships, old and new.

I want this year to be awesome in every way possible.

Thankful.

Oh, wow, where to begin... First, a public reminder of why I blog in the first place. (This reminder is more for me than it is for you.) I started our blog to capture this time in our life. I wanted it to be a he said/she said documentation of our time as newlyweds. And if you've been reading along on our journey you've probably noticed that our blog has been more of a one sided, she said version of our story and we're not so newly wed anymore. Alas, our mission remains true - journal, remember, appreciate, reflect. This blog is for me to figure out my thoughts and log our adventures big and small. Sometimes you might wonder why I shared a story or didn't share another or shared way too many details on one and not enough of another. I guess it's the classic case of why the good guys always win - because they are the ones who write the history books!

So let's play catch up. Since my last real update, we bought a house, celebrated our third wedding anniversary, went to Little Rock to learn my family's recipes, moved into said house, celebrated our ninth year as a couple, started a new job, changed jobs, stood in two of my best friends' weddings, and celebrated Thanksgiving at the Ranch for the first time as husband and wife. As I remind myself of the importance of remembering the details of the above events, I will do my best to go back and fill in the blanks. And to not fall farther behind, I'll start with Thanksgiving.

This year my parents and siblings, Grandma and in-laws, Grandma-in-law, Aunt and Uncle, cousins and In-Laws-in-law (what do you call the parents of your aunt who is married to your Dad's brother?!) were all at the Ranch. Ah, the Ranch, that's another blog post in itself. In true cheese ball tradition, we all went around the table and said what we were most thankful for from the past year. And in true crybaby fashion, I completely lost it at the Thanksgiving lupper table. Oh yeah, the Harbergs do Thanksgiving at 2:00pm Central Time. I was only the 6th person to share (out of a possible 17) and all I got out was, "I have so much to be thankful for..." Now, I'm a cryer, but sometimes things hit me and I just can't stop. I mean, I had to excuse myself from the Thanksgiving table before everyone had had a chance to share. Classic. My sweet husband covered for me and as he squeezed my hand under the table said, "I'm thankful for my emotional and sensitive wife and for everyone being together this year for Thanksgiving."

So what would I have said if more than 8 words passed my lips before the emotion of the past year reached my throat and ended all communication for the subsequent several hours? I hope it would have sounded something like this:

"I have so much to the be thankful for: I am thankful for our move to Austin - our beautiful new home and amazingly sweet new friends. I am thankful we both have jobs we enjoy that allow us to meet smart and inspiring people and live our dream life in the best city in Texas. I am thankful for our families who continue to amaze us with their support of us as individuals and a as a couple. I am thankful for my loving husband and our rambunctious almost-one-year-old puppy, Markley, with both of whom I am clinically obsessed. I am thankful for everything we have experienced as a family and everything that is to come in this next year. I am thankful to be aware of my experiences and know in the moment how lucky I am to be living the life I am living. I have so much to be thankful for and I am truly thankful."

L'Shana Tova

I was once told the significance of holidays was to acknowledge that an entire year had passed. And for some reason I can't type that sentence without getting a little teary-eyed. When I think of the past year, be it the Hebrew calendar or the Gregorian calendar, I am overwhelmed by the fact that nothing in my life is the same.

This time last year, I had recently been promoted from freelance assistant, to full time, self titled, operations manager. Brian had been moved to another team within his company and given a different, more prestigious title (both of which, we would later realize, were pivotal in our move to Austin). We were a few months away from becoming Aunt Kim and Uncle Brian and were overall enjoying life as D.I.N.K.s in our one-bedroom, Santa Monica apartment. A month later we would begin discussions of moving away from California and what that would mean for us both professionally and for our family. A month later Brian would interview for his current job and receive an offer we couldn't refuse. We would then take a celebratory trip to Hawaii and move to Austin.

In the subsequent six months we would buy a second car, adopt a puppy, celebrate Brian's 30th birthday, reach our third year of marriage and buy our first home. We would experience joy, loss, triumph, frustration, and through it all - love.

Which brings me to today, Erev Rosh Hashana, the start of my new year, and all I feel is thankful. Thankful for the changes that have brought me to today, thankful to my family who have never wavered in their support, thankful to my husband for leading me down this next chapter of our lives and for remaining the one true constant in my life for the past nine years.

May this year be our best yet and may all your dreams come true, too.

Dear Fall,

Please get here as soon as you can. According to the Old Farmer's Almanac, you are set to make your appearance on September 23, and that's totally cool if you can't rearrange your schedule, but if you could get here a tick earlier this year, that would be great. Summer's been such a bitch lately. Honestly, who does she think she is?! Look at what her dry temperament has done to my poor, sweet Texas. I'm so over her...

Everyone is so excited for you to get here! Even the stores are having sales in anticipation of your arrival. Damn, girl, you got it goin' on. Let me know if you need anything!

Tootles,

Let Your Conscience Be Your Guide

About a week ago, during lunch with a dear friend, we got on the topic of sabotage. No, not the early '90's smash hit by the Beastie Boys, but rather the unfortunate human condition of deliberately weakening another entity. The specific type of sabotage we were lamenting was the age old woman's woe of eating a buttery grilled panini sandwich minutes after an intense hour-long workout with an overpriced physical trainer. Why do we do it? Is it because we honestly believe we can consume more (and worse) calories after a sweat-session due to the fact/hope that our bodies will continue to burn said calories long after? Is it because we somehow, subconsciously think we - dare I say - don't deserve to enjoy the fruits of our labor? Long after our conversation transitioned and we said our goodbyes, I was still thinking of my own personal sabotage and what I might be subconsciously telling myself.

Then early this week, Brian and I had dinner with a different friend and we got to talking about... brace yourself... mediums. He confessed to not only seeking guidance from a medium, but also having some clairvoyant tendencies himself. He explained that the first step in being able to really hear your spirit guides (stay with me) is to quiet your own voices that swirl around your mind. Is it a coincidence that these two conversations happened within a week of each other during a time in my life where I spend my days trying to concoct a grand plan of what I'll be when I grow up? Those who believe in this sort of stuff would say no. So, if I were to quiet my own "voices" (a) how would I do that and (b) what would they have been saying? What might I be telling myself that I am not even aware I'm saying?! Do I subconsciously think I don't deserve success? Obviously, the conscious me thinks I deserve the world and more, but is there a voice, my voice, telling me otherwise?

Instead of trying to crack the code of what my subconscious voices are doing to my psyche behind my back, I decided on a more proactive approach. I have come up with three, short sentences that I'll repeat to myself whenever I find my mind racing. With all due respect to my conscious voice, I'll only say that my three part mantra sounds something like this: "I deserve _____, I deserve _____, and I am worthy of _____." It is my hope that in repeating my newly coined canticle, I will convince myself that I do in fact deserve and am worthy of the things I want most in life.

And while I wait for this theory to take hold, I did what any normal, well-adjusted girl would do. I hopped on yelp to find a medium in Austin! I am still awaiting a response from one intermediary so that I can schedule my first session. But for now I'll watch Eat.Pray.Love. and marvel at the timing of our Netflix hiatus ending and this movie being next on our queue.