Reflections & Resolutions

Forgive the cliche post title, but don't you find yourself sounding overly colloquial and nostalgic around the holidays? Saying things like "Thank you 2011, can't wait to see what 2012 will bring!" and "Top that, 2012!" and "Alas, another year has come and gone!" and "Auld lang syne!"

Obviously, I'm a fan of personifying just about anything, but the ever popular challenging of the year to come to beat the closing year might be my all time favorite. So what is it about this time of year that allows us to reflect and pledge changes for the year to come. Because, theoretically, it's just another day. We could always start a new lifestyle, a new outlook, a new project or dream at any time, any day. The New Year symbolizes this magical restart button that we all, literally, countdown to and with the stroke of midnight we all get a clean slate.

So what am I looking forward to the most in 2012? Well, I'm so glad you asked! I guess it wouldn't be fair to look forward without looking back so here goes, my 2011/2012 Reflections & Resolutions:

2011 Highlights

Became Aunt Kim & Uncle Brian

(Second) Honeymooned in Hawaii

Re-became Texans & moved to Austin

Adopted our sweet Markley girl

Celebrated Brian's 30th in Vegas

Celebrated 1 Year of Blogging

Celebrated 3 Years of Wedded Bliss

Bought our first house

Stood in 3 of my best friends' weddings

What I'm working on for 2012 is a little less bulleted of a list. I want to appreciate everything good so that more good can come and join in the fun. I want to breathe and relax and be present. I want to remember to choose the healthier option. I want to continue to try new restaurants and make new recipes. I want to invest in my friendships, old and new.

I want this year to be awesome in every way possible.

Thankful.

Oh, wow, where to begin... First, a public reminder of why I blog in the first place. (This reminder is more for me than it is for you.) I started our blog to capture this time in our life. I wanted it to be a he said/she said documentation of our time as newlyweds. And if you've been reading along on our journey you've probably noticed that our blog has been more of a one sided, she said version of our story and we're not so newly wed anymore. Alas, our mission remains true - journal, remember, appreciate, reflect. This blog is for me to figure out my thoughts and log our adventures big and small. Sometimes you might wonder why I shared a story or didn't share another or shared way too many details on one and not enough of another. I guess it's the classic case of why the good guys always win - because they are the ones who write the history books!

So let's play catch up. Since my last real update, we bought a house, celebrated our third wedding anniversary, went to Little Rock to learn my family's recipes, moved into said house, celebrated our ninth year as a couple, started a new job, changed jobs, stood in two of my best friends' weddings, and celebrated Thanksgiving at the Ranch for the first time as husband and wife. As I remind myself of the importance of remembering the details of the above events, I will do my best to go back and fill in the blanks. And to not fall farther behind, I'll start with Thanksgiving.

This year my parents and siblings, Grandma and in-laws, Grandma-in-law, Aunt and Uncle, cousins and In-Laws-in-law (what do you call the parents of your aunt who is married to your Dad's brother?!) were all at the Ranch. Ah, the Ranch, that's another blog post in itself. In true cheese ball tradition, we all went around the table and said what we were most thankful for from the past year. And in true crybaby fashion, I completely lost it at the Thanksgiving lupper table. Oh yeah, the Harbergs do Thanksgiving at 2:00pm Central Time. I was only the 6th person to share (out of a possible 17) and all I got out was, "I have so much to be thankful for..." Now, I'm a cryer, but sometimes things hit me and I just can't stop. I mean, I had to excuse myself from the Thanksgiving table before everyone had had a chance to share. Classic. My sweet husband covered for me and as he squeezed my hand under the table said, "I'm thankful for my emotional and sensitive wife and for everyone being together this year for Thanksgiving."

So what would I have said if more than 8 words passed my lips before the emotion of the past year reached my throat and ended all communication for the subsequent several hours? I hope it would have sounded something like this:

"I have so much to the be thankful for: I am thankful for our move to Austin - our beautiful new home and amazingly sweet new friends. I am thankful we both have jobs we enjoy that allow us to meet smart and inspiring people and live our dream life in the best city in Texas. I am thankful for our families who continue to amaze us with their support of us as individuals and a as a couple. I am thankful for my loving husband and our rambunctious almost-one-year-old puppy, Markley, with both of whom I am clinically obsessed. I am thankful for everything we have experienced as a family and everything that is to come in this next year. I am thankful to be aware of my experiences and know in the moment how lucky I am to be living the life I am living. I have so much to be thankful for and I am truly thankful."

L'Shana Tova

I was once told the significance of holidays was to acknowledge that an entire year had passed. And for some reason I can't type that sentence without getting a little teary-eyed. When I think of the past year, be it the Hebrew calendar or the Gregorian calendar, I am overwhelmed by the fact that nothing in my life is the same.

This time last year, I had recently been promoted from freelance assistant, to full time, self titled, operations manager. Brian had been moved to another team within his company and given a different, more prestigious title (both of which, we would later realize, were pivotal in our move to Austin). We were a few months away from becoming Aunt Kim and Uncle Brian and were overall enjoying life as D.I.N.K.s in our one-bedroom, Santa Monica apartment. A month later we would begin discussions of moving away from California and what that would mean for us both professionally and for our family. A month later Brian would interview for his current job and receive an offer we couldn't refuse. We would then take a celebratory trip to Hawaii and move to Austin.

In the subsequent six months we would buy a second car, adopt a puppy, celebrate Brian's 30th birthday, reach our third year of marriage and buy our first home. We would experience joy, loss, triumph, frustration, and through it all - love.

Which brings me to today, Erev Rosh Hashana, the start of my new year, and all I feel is thankful. Thankful for the changes that have brought me to today, thankful to my family who have never wavered in their support, thankful to my husband for leading me down this next chapter of our lives and for remaining the one true constant in my life for the past nine years.

May this year be our best yet and may all your dreams come true, too.

Dear Fall,

Please get here as soon as you can. According to the Old Farmer's Almanac, you are set to make your appearance on September 23, and that's totally cool if you can't rearrange your schedule, but if you could get here a tick earlier this year, that would be great. Summer's been such a bitch lately. Honestly, who does she think she is?! Look at what her dry temperament has done to my poor, sweet Texas. I'm so over her...

Everyone is so excited for you to get here! Even the stores are having sales in anticipation of your arrival. Damn, girl, you got it goin' on. Let me know if you need anything!

Tootles,

Let Your Conscience Be Your Guide

About a week ago, during lunch with a dear friend, we got on the topic of sabotage. No, not the early '90's smash hit by the Beastie Boys, but rather the unfortunate human condition of deliberately weakening another entity. The specific type of sabotage we were lamenting was the age old woman's woe of eating a buttery grilled panini sandwich minutes after an intense hour-long workout with an overpriced physical trainer. Why do we do it? Is it because we honestly believe we can consume more (and worse) calories after a sweat-session due to the fact/hope that our bodies will continue to burn said calories long after? Is it because we somehow, subconsciously think we - dare I say - don't deserve to enjoy the fruits of our labor? Long after our conversation transitioned and we said our goodbyes, I was still thinking of my own personal sabotage and what I might be subconsciously telling myself.

Then early this week, Brian and I had dinner with a different friend and we got to talking about... brace yourself... mediums. He confessed to not only seeking guidance from a medium, but also having some clairvoyant tendencies himself. He explained that the first step in being able to really hear your spirit guides (stay with me) is to quiet your own voices that swirl around your mind. Is it a coincidence that these two conversations happened within a week of each other during a time in my life where I spend my days trying to concoct a grand plan of what I'll be when I grow up? Those who believe in this sort of stuff would say no. So, if I were to quiet my own "voices" (a) how would I do that and (b) what would they have been saying? What might I be telling myself that I am not even aware I'm saying?! Do I subconsciously think I don't deserve success? Obviously, the conscious me thinks I deserve the world and more, but is there a voice, my voice, telling me otherwise?

Instead of trying to crack the code of what my subconscious voices are doing to my psyche behind my back, I decided on a more proactive approach. I have come up with three, short sentences that I'll repeat to myself whenever I find my mind racing. With all due respect to my conscious voice, I'll only say that my three part mantra sounds something like this: "I deserve _____, I deserve _____, and I am worthy of _____." It is my hope that in repeating my newly coined canticle, I will convince myself that I do in fact deserve and am worthy of the things I want most in life.

And while I wait for this theory to take hold, I did what any normal, well-adjusted girl would do. I hopped on yelp to find a medium in Austin! I am still awaiting a response from one intermediary so that I can schedule my first session. But for now I'll watch Eat.Pray.Love. and marvel at the timing of our Netflix hiatus ending and this movie being next on our queue.

Markley's Medical Maladies

So our sweet puppy, Markley - who, yes, is now a whopping 40 pounds at 6 months of age even though they told us she would be 30 pounds full grown - has finally reached the light at the end of the tunnel as far as her health is concerned. And no, I don't mean that light, I mean the good light where she came back to the healthy side. For about a month she was touch and go, in and out of the hospital, on and off IV fluids, antibiotics, steroids and probiotics. (All fancy terms for no one could figure out what the heck was wrong with the poor girl so they kept throwing money at the problem trying new treatments until she was better.)

I'll spare you the gruesome details of her ailments - among other things she was suffering from "anorexia" (I nearly jumped across the examination table when I saw the vet scribble that horrendous accusation on her measly little notepad), diarrhea (ie: liquid stool), complete loss of interest in playtime and severe dehydration. She wasn't herself, she felt awful and I couldn't do anything to help her... it was the worst. Luckily, my girl bounced back with the help of one night in the hospital, several subcutaneous fluid injections and an impressive list of take-home pills, powders and liquids. Throughout the whole traumatic ordeal (still figuring out if it was more stressful for me or her) Markley never lost her ability to create some ever-so-hilarious and emotion-inducing pictures. What can I say, she was born to be a star!

I. LOVE. THIS. FACE.

All buckled in and ready to go back to the vet!

So she wouldn't take her IV out in the hospital...

Poor, sweet Markley.

Paws. All I see is paws in this picture.

Just... can't... take... one... more... step...

Coming inside from going potty.

Passing out before I could get the leash off.

Spilling out of her crate...

She honestly sleeps like this.

See!

Being coy in the car on the way to Houston.

Feeling much better. Digging with her best gal, Penny!

So what was wrong with her, you might ask? Oh, we still don't know. All we know is that we changed her food to Science Diet Sensitive Stomach and she's a new dog! Hmm...

15 lb bag of Science Diet Sensitive Stomach... $25

Markley's Medical Bills (pre-pet insurance*)... $2000.00

And next we have a game called Creepy or Cool?! First question: I have 4 of Markley's baby teeth on bedside table. Creepy or Cool? You decide!

*If you have a pet, get pet insurance. If you think your pet won't get sick, you're wrong. That is all!

Blogoversary

Can you ever find it in your heart to forgive me?! My sincerest apologies for being MIA for - dare I say - over a month! I have so much to fill you in on and in true Kimberly fashion I find it only necessary and appropriate to list what I plan to write about in the coming days:

1. Brian's 30th Birthday Weekend in Vegas

2. Brian's Surprise Party (Oh, yes, I'm good.)

3. Markley's Health (Don't worry, she's okay... now.)

4. Leah's Baby Naming

5. Life in Austin (including house and job hunting)

6. Launching my Esty store!

Well, that's just a little sneak peak of things to come! I do hope you'll stop by over the next week or so while I frantically try to catch you up on life for the Austin Luskeys.

Oh, and this weekend marked one year of blogging. Happy 1st Blogoversary to us!