Hey Jealousy

I saw a video (which, for the life of me, I cannot find anywhere or I'd repost it for you to watch) about a year ago and I've been trying to heed its advice ever since. The basic gist of its message is to listen to your jealousy and allow it to direct you toward what you really want. If you are jealous of someone's success, maybe what your jealousy is telling you is that you really want that type of success for yourself. If its their style or family or job that leave you with those irritatingly irrational feelings of insecurity, fear and anxiety, maybe those are the things you want most in your life?

I recently discovered the rockstar diaries, yes I'm obviously a little late to the party since the author already has over 14,000 subscribed readers, and I am so stinkin' jealous of this girl! Her eccentric style, her grace (she went to Julliard for dance for Pete's sake), her perfect little family, her blog with its thousands of readers. Mid-sentence of my lamenting over everything this stranger had that I did not, Brian cut me off, looked at me like I was crazy and said, "You have great style, we have an awesome little family, you have a blog and if you put the effort into it, you could have that readership, too." Okay, while I don't think buying all of your clothes from the Ann Taylor sale rack constitutes great style, I appreciated his attempt to motivate and redirect my obvious jealousy toward this woman I have never met.

When I think about the difference between a success blog and one that goes unread or a booming business and one that never gets off the ground, there is one common denomonator in the success stories. The successful ones just did it. Despite the inevitable self doubt, obstacles and growing pains - the person who reached their goal did so because they simply started, kept going and got there. They just did it.

So, instead of stalking the blogs I aspire to be like, I'll write more in my own. Instead of coveting another's style, I'll revisit my full closet and remind myself that I luckily want for nothing and have more than I need. And when that ache for the perfect family creeps into my heart, I'll look at my husband and puppy - both of whom I love more than I can put into words - and be thankful for the family we are building in our own time. And when that pesky little wave of jealousy washes over me, I'll memind myself to count my own blessings instead of someone else's.